i get upset over stupid things.

i left my doctor’s appointment this morning.  bawling like a baby, i kind of blamed it on the numbing in my nose that the doctor gave me, also my nose and throat still hurt a little from the camera he stuck in there.  but i kept crying.  because, yay, i found out great news! no bumps on my vocal chords, but there is something wrong (red and swollen), what to do though? i don’t know! i’ve been trying to back off, but it’s really tough.  i might call the office again to try and talk with the doctor, and/or set up a follow-up appointment.

BUT, later that day.  i’m getting my dress fitted for choir.  we have to make sure we look the same.  well, apparently i can’t do anything right, and completely fucked up the hem when i sewed it a year ago.  and i couldn’t tell Ms. Tyree that, because she kept saying “what an awful job this is! who would use this stitch! they completely ruined this dress!”  so she thinks some random person did it.

i admit, i used a zig zag stitch on the machine b/c i’ve heard so many people say their hems were falling out, so i thought that it was a stronger a stitch and would work.

well apparently i ruined it.  i kept asking if i could fix it, but they said no.  it looks terrible. (i’m on stage… who’s going to be that close???)  i’m still wondering if i can fix it… maybe try and rip the stitches out, put it through the wash to try and smooth out the holes, and then sew it again with a straight stitch.  i might just hand sew it so i don’t fuck it up again, which i might.  because i apparently do that all of the time.

i understand it’s just a hem.  but, ugh.  after the morning, i just couldn’t keep it in.  so i rushed home, crying.  changed, and tried to pull myself together for choir rehearsal (yay, try to sing in tune while trying to hold back tears.)

then after rehearsal (the first 15 minutes were tough, but got through it), i was going to go to lunch with friends.  yay friendly happy time.  but wait, coaching at 3!  oh what? i got an e-mail 3 hours before about him not being there?  what?  i don’t have a fucking smart phone, and therefore didn’t know until i was outside his door waiting with music and a happy smile?

i want to curl up in bed and cry the day away, but if i do i’ll probly fall asleep, and i need to fix my sleep schedule, so i can’t fall asleep till 10.